abrubtly the laughter died
like man caught off guard with a bullet through the back of his head.
and the silence came screaming
blocking out every other sound till i can hear nothing else
and slowly i fade away into the walls
becoming like a flower haphazzardly painted on
one that no one notices or will miss
but unfortunately just there
not even significant enough to be a blemish.
just invisible.
i try to keep it all out
behind this invisible wall
but the worm slips easily through the cracks and continues to gnaw at the very essence of me
slowly eating and nibbling away
till soon there will me nothing left.

my poison.

it amazes me how sudden darkness decends
actually it never does come down slowly on you
in grabs you by surprise
unless you are by the waves watching the sun dip beneath the horizon
you can never catch that exact moment when darkness hits
you turn you eye for just that one second
and when you glance back out of the window
the suns gone

its been pretty much an insane week and i cannot even begin to phantom how i am going to make it through and entire 13 weeks of school.
as it stands now, i believe that i have skipped more classes than i have been for and thats quite a frightening thought
and theres my GPA to maintain which is currently on the verge of slipping under
yes its time to be afraid.
and i am weary.

performance at SRT on the 15th and 16th or September
8pm and 730pm respectively.
to my dear friends, its mandatory that you be there.
tag me or message me for tickets okay?

please come and show me your support.
will love you have you guys there.

(:
love

1 mammoth production
4 tuition kids
7 modules 
5 days of morning classes

i am feeling decidedly overwhelmed. unclear of how i am suppose to deal with it all. pretty tired really.

and i still want to go to melbourne.
stop being so selfish.

my lovely sunday afternoon




took a nice long sceneic drive down to a totally uluated part of singapore.
its like travelling back in time
to be greeted by deserted fields and derelict abandoned warehouses.
but the flowers by the road are beautiful
and the entire experience in itself simply rejuvenating.
even the ice cream from the uncle by the road seems ever more delectable.

2nd link on sunday was simply amazing.
2 hours of undulated entertainment.
won over my hilarious exchanges
witty one liners
and left speechless my marvelous technique and talent.
i can only dream of being on the same plane as they are.

edith and lijie:
apparently tummy ache isnt a good enough reason to waive a fine.
rahh..
mother flipped to the roof and back to the floor a few times when she saw the letter.
stupid of me to have left it on the table though.
kill me.

so its officially my first week back in school and i am exahusted to the bone.
an hour on the train and an insane queue to get on a crowded jerky crawling bus is far from the ideal way to start a morning.
hedious timetable doesnt really help much
5 day week. (6 with rehearsals)
and long breaks.

a dismal place that i do not greet with a smile.

once i had a beautiful diamond
the perfect cut and crystal clear
i never thought much about it then
just left it lying around never treated it with much regard
i guess i simply assumed that it would always be there.
then one day i lost it.
i woke up one day to realise that it was no longer there
inactual fact
it began slowly loosing its lusture and slipping away from me some time ago but i was just simply too blind to see it
after crying buckets of tears later
life went on.
a hollow empty half life
as the metal hands crawl over the clock face
by and by one learns and heals.
but i guess you never truely mend
you carry the scars along with you through the course of life.

by chance though
the diamond came back.
broken chipped lacklusture.
but how i rejoiced and welcomed it with open arms back into my life
pouring all of my soul giving it all that i had to nurse it back to its original beauty
but i know that this diamond i can never again call mine
its right there but its no longer the same diamond that i once knew.
yet i ignore all the other precious gems around me
because i am blinded by this that once was mine.

i wish i didnt.
i wish i wouldnt.
but i do.

so the weekend has once again flew by in a frenzy and i have to prepare myself to get ready for my first real day of school - something that i am not particularly looking forward to.

the coming semester looms like a dark foreboding cloud in the distance threatening to explode into countless raindrops soaking me to the skin, leaving me drenched out in the open to face the fury of nature.
yes.
i am afraid.

and then theres the play.
i know i need to have faith and not lose hope
to continue to motivate and push and believe that everything will fall into place and that it will all work out.
but with every passing day 
and the date of the performance screaming at me in bold
i feel the urgency and frenzy building up inside me
and that same overwhelming helplessness when i have no idea what else there is i can do.

please take me to my wonderland
 

so happy birthday sinagpore
for once i am actually glad for this public holiday
thanks to all the people who made the day special and memorable

fireworks in the evening gave the night a brilliant start
like old dust rainin down on us
a burst of light in the dark of the sky
the glow reflected in our eyes and on our faces

a crazy walk down to arab street
yelling at inconsiderate taxi drivers
trying to not get banged down and left as a bloody mess on the streets gawked at by typical sinaporeans frantically informing relatives and copying down car number plates for 4D in the morning
basically just tearing insanely down the streets having loads of fun

sheesha and pool added the icing on top of a perfect night.

and i actually joined the entire trong of singaporeans that flocked down to the national stadium for the parade.
i cant really quite believe myself.
more about it next time. keyboard is screwed up.
uess te missin letters

bathed in the brilliance of light.

pictures from work
and my insane night out with crazy hmmm..."sisters"

another first to add to our growing list of experiences together.

unfortunately though i cant say that this is one i enjoy much.
no matter how attractive getting high might be
its not worth the terribe hangover that accompanies it.

woke up this morning with one of those earth shattering head splitting screaming pounding headaches that saw my world going round in circles.
literally incapacitated the entire day lying like a dead log in bed (except for that occasional run to the wash room to empty my stomach of its rejected alcohol contents) willing them to stop drilling in my head.
drinking is bad for you.

in my wasted state incapable of sensible thought
i did something
or rather i let something happen.
which might not be the most intelligent thing.
hope for me that everythings ok.

my stint at california fitness is officially over.
a part of me is glad to be able to have my evenings and nights back
but theres also this nagging voice and nostalgic attachment in me that knows i am going to miss those times
standing behind the counter
the whirring blender in the background
lousy techno on repeat mode
the fresh scent of oranges on my finger tips.
importantly, thoes familiar faces that come by regurlarly in the evenings
who spice up my time with light hearted conversations
and with laughter make the grueling hours fly by with that much ease